


Nero's phone call.

by rex101111



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: F/M, Gen, I'd call it crack but DMC is honestly this silly most of the time, also these two need more fics of them being cute together what the hell guys, hopefully it has something like this assuring up that Kyrie is okay, spawned as a result of wishful thinking on the upcoming dmc 5!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 11:48:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14914827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rex101111/pseuds/rex101111
Summary: Nero has to answer his phone at a rather inconvenient time. The demon who is trying to kill him is, understandably, less then pleased.





	Nero's phone call.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sevi007](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevi007/gifts).



> another silly thing that is mostly just indulgent wish fulfillment about DMC 5 that is ACTUALLY A THING HOLY SHIT. 
> 
> Enjoy!

A building shook. Several buildings in fact, but one in particular was shaking rather violently as whoever was inside made a right mess of things, faint sounds of clashing metal and crashing stone coming out muffled through the walls.

Then, in a sudden explosion of force one of the walls burst outwards in a shower of brick and mortar, the projectile that caused it flying through the air for a long second before it hit the ground and started rolling.

A few moments later the projectile hit a car and groaned, Nero was not having a good day. Shaking his head and prying his form away from the bent metal frame of the vehicle he just hit (A Mercedes, damn shame) he looked at the wall he just flew out of with no small amount of disdain, “That was  _completely_  uncalled for!”

Out of the cloud of dust and debris a large figure stepped out, 4 times Nero’s height and carrying a massive sword, its jagged and glowing blade dragging across the ground as the giant demon stomped his way towards his opponent.

The demon lifted his blade into the air and rested it on his shoulder, a deep chuckle echoing out from his reptile like head, “Spare me your excuses  _cross-breed_ ,” The demon spat to the side, his glowing red saliva melting through the asphalt, “It is only a matter of time before your wit devolves into screams of agony as you are  _crushed beneath my blade!”_

Rolling his neck from side to side to ease some of the stiffness, and rolling his eyes at the monologue (typical Arch Demon), Nero smirked defiantly as his enemy came within ten steps of him, putting a hand on his sword, “Yeah, yeah, keep talking big about your sword and it might just give me a few ideas of where you can put it.”

The demon roared out a laugh, “Admirable of you to show such humor in the face of  _ultimate power_.”

Nero resisted the urge to laugh, a demon gets a big ass sword and destroys a few city blocks and all of a sudden he thinks he has  _ultimate power_ , Christ, “Let’s see how ultimate it is when I-”

  _~and then I saw her face! And I’m a believer!~_

_“…shit.”  
_

_~And not a trace! Of doubt in my mind!~_

The demon blinked his massive golden eyes, struck dumb by the sounds emerging from Nero’s coat, “What….what is that… _noise?”_

Quickly rummaging around, Nero quietly cursed under his breath before he answered, “It’s my,  _fucking hell,_ ringtone,  _shit,_  hold on!” 

~ _I’m a believer I couldn’t leave her if I tried!~_

“I can’t fucking  _believe_  that Dante  _actually fucking changed it.”_ He kept patting his pockets in search of the source of the noise, “I though he was  _kidding_ I can’t- _when did he manage to-Ah HA!”_

 With a triumphant yell he finally pulled something out of his coat pocket, a shiny, brand new, black and blue-

“Cell phone?” The demon muttered in disbelief, “Are you  _actually_  answering your damn  _phone_  in the middle of-?”

“Yeah I am it’s important hang on-hey Kyrie!” Nero’s expression lit up immediately as he answered, rubbing the back of his head as he turned away from the, incredibly confused, demon, “Hey, this is kind of a bad time?” A moment passed as the person on the other side, Kyrie, apparently replied, “Yeah a demon…yeah a pretty big one…”

“Are…are you serious right now?”

Nero glanced back for a moment, looking his enemy up and down before he turned back to the phone, “Well okay, not the  _biggest_  by any means, but still a huge bastard.” Nero flinched for a second as a mildly loud reply filtered through, “Right, sorry, language, sorry…”

“I…I’m trying to  _kill_  you here!”

“Hold on babe,” Nero turned to face the demon, “And  _I’m_  talking to my  _girlfriend,_  so do you mind keeping it down for a sec?” He then turned back to talk on the phone while the demon simply stood there, jaw hanging limply out of sheer astonishment, “Yeah everything’s  _fine_  Kyrie…yeah I’m good, just a few bruises and some glass in my shirt no biggie.”

The demon rubbed his eyes in frustration, “I can’t believe this…”

“ _No_  I’m not lying to you, hell, you can check me over when I get home, okay?” He gave the phone a cheeky grin as the muffled sounds of a giggle and a few words came through, “I am, in fact,  _completely_  serious.”

The sound of the demon clearing his throat cut through the couple’s flirting as Nero turned to look at it again, “Any day would be nice? I’m on a bit of a schedule if you don’t  _mind?”_

Rolling his eyes Nero turned back to his phone, “Can I call you back babe? Our  _friend_  here is starting to feel  _neglected,”_ The demon ground his teeth as he brought his sword to bare, his patience running thin at the sight of the cross-breeds smirk…that was wiped off when Kyrie said something indistinct, “Wait-you want to- _what?”_

The demon blinked as Nero argued something over the phone, obviously losing as his shoulder slumped and he turned his head to the demon again, “She wants to talk to you for a sec, you mind?”

The demon blinked a few more times, no reply coming to mind, “I-”

“Right cool thanks,” Not waiting for an answer, Nero pressed something on his phone before turned the screen to the demon, “You’re on speaker babe!”

“She’s  _what-”_

“ _hello Mr. Demon!”_ A cheerful voice rang out from the phone, making the demon’s eye twitch, “ _my name’s Kyrie! what’s yours?”_

A beat of silence rang out as the demon stared blankly at the phone, his sword in fighting position but starting to droop to the ground in his grip, “….Meruki.”

“ _nice to meet you Meruki!”_ She replied easily, either not noticing or ignoring (likely ignoring) the obvious sounds of frustration in his tone, “ _you see mr. Meruki, I need Nero to go the nearest supermarket, that isn’t destroyed hopefully, to do some shopping for dinner when he comes back-”_

Nero mutteredunder his breath, “We  _could_  just order some pizza…”

“ _and there’s_ no way _I’ll let him order pizza again,”_ She continued as if she could hear him, making Nero blush slightly, “ _so, is there any chance you could, maybe, have this fight later? like tomorrow?”_

The demon took a deep, restrained breath before he answered, “…No.”

“ _oh,”_ Was the soft reply, “… _are you sure?”_

A growl, “ _Completely.”_

_“for sure? can’t you just, wait a few hours, while Nero goes off to the store?”_

Another growl, louder this time, “ _No. I can not wait for that.”_

 _“are you_ absolutely _sure-”_

 _“_ **LISTEN HUMAN WOMAN!”** The demon screamed, hellish flames surrounding him, “ ** _THE CROSS BREED DIES THIS DAY! AND NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL ALLOW HIM TO ESCAPE HIS RIGHTFUL FATE AT MY HANDS!”_**

A moment passed as the flames raged around the demon and Nero waved a hand on his face for some air, before Kyrie chirped again, “ _okay! if you say so!”_ Then her voice turned a bit smug, “ _hey, Nero?”_

 _“_ Yeah babe?”

_“did that give you enough time to heal up?”_

The flames died in an instant, “…what.”

 _“_ Oh yeah, good to go and then some,” He looked straight at the demon and flipped him off with his free hand, “Thanks Kyrie.”

_“…What?”_

_“don’t mention it!”_ She answered happily, then her tone turned encouraging, “ _now kick his but!”_

 _“_ You got it!”

 _“_ **MIXED BLOOD BASTARD!”**  

The demon leaped into the air, his sword held over his head as he crashed down on Nero with his full might and anger, fire bursting around the area as Nero quickly brought his own blade to block the raging strike, his phone tucked into the crook of his neck.

 _“_ Okay, now I  _really_  do need to hang up, talk to you later?” He laughed at her answered with a soft smile, “Yeah, love you too.” He then carefully pocketed his phone before revving up his sword and flexing his metal hand, looking up at the demon with a confident smirk, “Alright big guy,  _no where were we?”_


End file.
